Next Tuesday we will be hosting the First Annual Slutty Fringe Conker Tournament, high above East London on the roof of the Queen of Hoxton. We’re not ones for hyperbole here but I think it’s fair to say that this date will go down in history.

Indeed in a hundred years when this event is bigger than the Olympics and World Cup combined and your cloned grandchildren are desperately trying to find the final silver foil hologram for their Pannini World Conker Cup collection, will they be able to look back with pride and say my DNA was there at the start? Only if you enter will they…

And if competing for honour and pride isn’t enough we also have some rather great prizes for the winners that includes male and female clothing from new website Lipstickandlaceboutique.com, signed copies of Gilles Peterson’s October release Havana Cultura and a meal for 4 at just opened Mien Tay in Battersea.

Think you’ve got what it takes to be the best? Get a team of three people together, drop us a line and reserve your place.

If you’d just like to enter solo, still drop us a line, as if there’s enough of you singletons out there we’ll try and do something just for you, or maybe just set up a dating agency.

Download The Rules (PDF)